For EMDR therapists: Developing a sense of self

Have you ever felt robotic when participating in EMDR therapy? Has it ever felt unnatural, too regimented, or like you have lost a sense of your therapeutic self in the EMDR therapy  process?

As an EMDR therapy consultant, the fear of being robotic, or losing the therapeutic sense of self, is a common question and fear, especially in the beginning stages of learning to be an EMDR therapist. Today we will discuss a few of the common tips and tricks that I have discussed as an EMDR therapy consultant for years as I have worked with EMDR therapists to develop their individual sense of therapeutic self.

So here are a few ideas of how to stay engaged, be connected, and make EMDR therapy a little bit more personal for the relationship between you and your client.

Involve the client in the treatment planning process.

With EMDR therapy, there are multiple ways to accomplish the therapeutic goals for the client. In many ways, it can be like a puzzle to discover what the best route of action may be to assist the client in accomplishing their goal. Rather than simply defaulting to the same type of treatment plan with every client, discussing the various options of treatment planning and collaborating with the client to choose the best route of action for them is a great way to personalize the EMDR therapy experience and keep the EMDR therapist from becoming robotic. EMDR therapy is not a one-size-fits-all model, and one treatment plan will not work for every client. So stay creative, stay engaged, and discuss those options with the client. 

Stay attuned to the client experience during processing.

During the processing sessions with longer bilateral stimulation sets is when many EMDR therapists discover they start to feel disengaged or disconnected. When ironically, this is the time that our clients need us to be most present and connected with them. EMDR therapy can bring up an abundance of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. As you are processing with your client, notice what their body is doing, notice their breath, imagine the different feelings that they may be experiencing, and stay attuned to their process.

Stay tuned to your experience as an EMDR therapist during the processing. 

As you are processing a target with a client, how do you feel? Do you have the urge to disengage, to daydream, to check out? Are you feeling activated or distressed by the distress the client may be experiencing? How can you regulate your own body, and engage with your own nervous system, to return your nervous system responses to the work and needs of the client? Side note: if you are consistently activated, or feel the need to check out/ dissociate for your client’s processing experience, this may be an indication that something is being triggered or activated in your own nervous system. (We are all humans here). If this is the case, maybe doing some of your own EMDR therapy work could be a part of your development as an EMDR therapist. Here is a great starting point for finding an EMDR therapist.

Remember, nonverbal communication is a powerful communicator.

Especially for a newly trained EMDR therapist, the lack of words that are spoken in the midst of an EMDR therapy processing session can feel odd, and awkward at times. But think back to some of your basic training, when you were becoming a therapist. Think about learning about the different types of communication that we exhibit as human beings. Think about the nonverbal communication that you are giving, even in the midst of an EMDR therapy session your verbal communication may be more limited. The way that we position and posture the body,  the way that we make eye contact, and the way that we connect with a client is so much more than words, so let your nonverbal communication speak louder than your urge to offer verbal feedback. 

Finally, remember that it takes time. 

EMDR therapy is an art. As you become more familiar with EMDR therapy, gain additional comfort in the various forms of EMDR therapy, and engage with more individuals working through trauma, you will learn more about yourself and the clients that you serve. Allow yourself to grow just as you would create grace and space for clients to grow and change through the therapy process.